Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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