I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
