i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
