she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize