Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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