do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
