used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
