my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize