get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
