He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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