If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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