I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
