can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
