I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
