Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
