margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Randomize
