He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
