Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
