So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
