I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
