Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
