I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
