Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm at about main and main street
We left the knife in your bed.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
