Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
