she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
