I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Houston, we have a blender
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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