So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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