Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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