you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
