Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
