Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
God, I missed his penis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
