I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
