Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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