I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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