totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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