you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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