so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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