I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
