glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
