This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
