R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
