I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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