I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sorry about my life...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
