Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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