maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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