So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
there was a trapeze. enough said
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
