I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
