What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
