The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize