Its about making memories worth repressing
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
