k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
