Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
