You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
