Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
