Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
