Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
