Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
