actually, I'm a sock model
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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