i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
