if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Randomize
