SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
