So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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