just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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